Almost two months of integration into a new community and culture is hard to summarize. I could write on and on about the challenges in integrating into a new community and culture, but it really is something best understood through experience, or perhaps a super long, in-depth post, both of which I’m presently unable to provide. I’ll do my best to give you a decent picture of how things have progressed, though. When we first got here, it was of course difficult – we were the new, unknown foreigners (we are still the foreigners, but at least now we feel somewhat known and understood), and we had no idea where anything was located, what might be acceptable, behavior, etc. Shwiya b shwiya (little by little), however, I’ve begun to feel more comfortable, both with my family and with the community in general.
With my family:
Though it was awkward at first, my time spent with my family has been wonderful. Since my first week with them, they've made every effort to help me feel accepted as part of the family – my sisters even refer to me as “xti” (my sister). I constantly feel as though I can’t thank them enough for their incredible hospitality – it is at a level that I’ve never experienced in my life. From the moment I arrived, I’ve heard them talking about what I seem to like and don’t like as much, and they’re always trying to prepare foods I like Even though Moroccan families have a much different sense of privacy and personal space than families in America, they've been super respectful of my privacy when I need time to study, relax, etc. I had a hard time at first knowing what the boundaries were, especially regarding spending time with fellow trainees at the café, traveling on the weekends, and the like, but they’ve been very flexible and understanding with my (sometimes crazy) training schedule. Even though they may call to check up on me and will be concerned if I’m late without letting them know, I know it’s because they genuinely care about me and want me to be alright. After essentially living on my own for the past 4 and a half years, it was an adjustment not only because of the culture, but also because of the loss of the personal freedom to just come and go as I please, like I did in Grand Rapids (due to always having to update my family, time things around their meal times, etc.). Plus, let’s be honest – it can be kind of awkward living with another family, the cultural differences aside. With the added challenges of cultural differences and a language barrier, it was an interesting first few weeks!
While some things were really hard to communicate at first, I’ve found that a surprising number of things can be communicated without words – especially humor. I laughed a lot with every member of my family in those first few weeks, and it really helped me to feel comfortable. I have 4 host sisters, 2 of which are married and live elsewhere, and 1 host brother. The two sisters who still live at home are 17 and 27, and my brother is 16, so it makes for a great dynamic at home. Small children are fun, but there’s a special kind of bond that I’ve been able to make with my host siblings who are at least somewhat close to my age. The two married sisters are 24 and 28, so it’s like a party in our house when they come to visit and we’re all together. I also have a host cousin who is 24, and she’s an absolute riot. She lives just across the street, and whenever she comes over we always end up dancing, joking, and laughing all night. As you might expect, my sisters and I have a fun messing with our brother – a lot of jokes have started with them telling me to call him “troublemaker” or some other silly word in Arabic, or with us calling him something like “crazy” in English, and then telling him that it means “nice” or “handsome.” Priceless. My host mom and dad are also both incredibly kind; I get the sense that my host dad knows absolutely everybody in the community and sort of uses that to watch out for me and the other volunteers when he can. The extended family is huge – I’m pretty sure I haven’t met all of them yet – but they have all been wonderful.
Though it was difficult at first having a family that speaks no English, I’ve come to consider it a huge blessing in the long run. My Darija has progressed so much more quickly than I think it would have if I’d had a family member that spoke English. In order to be understood, even about basic day-to-day needs, I’ve had to constantly speak with them only in Darija. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t frustrating from time to time, especially early on, but all in all I am so grateful for the amazing opportunities to learn and practice that it’s given me!
In the community:
The very first thing I think anyone would notice upon coming to Morocco is the unbelievable hospitality of Moroccans. I experienced it for the first time in Rabat, when a shop keeper in the old Medina invited a group of us to sit and drink tea with him, just to be welcoming and hospitable; my appreciation for it has only grown during my time here in Merja. In addition to my host family’s warm welcome, the rest of the community has shown a hospitality that seems to grow rather than wane with time. We’ve been invited to countless lunches (always cous cous – they know how much we love it!), kaskrots (snack times), and teas – so many that I don’t think we’ll be able to make it to all the houses we’ve been invited into by the time we leave next week! I’ve also learned that anytime you are invited into someone’s home, you’d better be ready to a) drink lots of tea, and b) eat lots of delicious food! It goes without saying that these are two concepts I have not had a hard time getting used to. J Who doesn’t love some famous Moroccan tea with some equally famous and delicious Moroccan cuisine?? When you are full, though, you need to be firm – many Moroccans, in their effort to be hospitable and help you to feel welcome, will try to keep feeding and feeding you until you insist that you are, in fact, very full!
- Wednesday the 16th: Language proficiency interviews – the big interviews that will test our level of proficiency in Darija – eek!
- Saturday the 19th: Leave in the morning for Rabat, no doubt amid tears when saying goodbye to our host families! We will also likely find out our final sites on this day! Ahh!
- Saturday the 19th – Wednesday the 23rd: Time in Rabat with our whole staging class, debriefing from training, finding out about our final sites, preparing to depart, etc. We’ll have our Swearing In ceremony on the 23rd, making us official Peace Corps volunteers!
- Thursday the 24th – Depart for our final sites!! Whoa!
Hold onto your hats!
With my family:
Though it was awkward at first, my time spent with my family has been wonderful. Since my first week with them, they've made every effort to help me feel accepted as part of the family – my sisters even refer to me as “xti” (my sister). I constantly feel as though I can’t thank them enough for their incredible hospitality – it is at a level that I’ve never experienced in my life. From the moment I arrived, I’ve heard them talking about what I seem to like and don’t like as much, and they’re always trying to prepare foods I like Even though Moroccan families have a much different sense of privacy and personal space than families in America, they've been super respectful of my privacy when I need time to study, relax, etc. I had a hard time at first knowing what the boundaries were, especially regarding spending time with fellow trainees at the café, traveling on the weekends, and the like, but they’ve been very flexible and understanding with my (sometimes crazy) training schedule. Even though they may call to check up on me and will be concerned if I’m late without letting them know, I know it’s because they genuinely care about me and want me to be alright. After essentially living on my own for the past 4 and a half years, it was an adjustment not only because of the culture, but also because of the loss of the personal freedom to just come and go as I please, like I did in Grand Rapids (due to always having to update my family, time things around their meal times, etc.). Plus, let’s be honest – it can be kind of awkward living with another family, the cultural differences aside. With the added challenges of cultural differences and a language barrier, it was an interesting first few weeks!
While some things were really hard to communicate at first, I’ve found that a surprising number of things can be communicated without words – especially humor. I laughed a lot with every member of my family in those first few weeks, and it really helped me to feel comfortable. I have 4 host sisters, 2 of which are married and live elsewhere, and 1 host brother. The two sisters who still live at home are 17 and 27, and my brother is 16, so it makes for a great dynamic at home. Small children are fun, but there’s a special kind of bond that I’ve been able to make with my host siblings who are at least somewhat close to my age. The two married sisters are 24 and 28, so it’s like a party in our house when they come to visit and we’re all together. I also have a host cousin who is 24, and she’s an absolute riot. She lives just across the street, and whenever she comes over we always end up dancing, joking, and laughing all night. As you might expect, my sisters and I have a fun messing with our brother – a lot of jokes have started with them telling me to call him “troublemaker” or some other silly word in Arabic, or with us calling him something like “crazy” in English, and then telling him that it means “nice” or “handsome.” Priceless. My host mom and dad are also both incredibly kind; I get the sense that my host dad knows absolutely everybody in the community and sort of uses that to watch out for me and the other volunteers when he can. The extended family is huge – I’m pretty sure I haven’t met all of them yet – but they have all been wonderful.
Though it was difficult at first having a family that speaks no English, I’ve come to consider it a huge blessing in the long run. My Darija has progressed so much more quickly than I think it would have if I’d had a family member that spoke English. In order to be understood, even about basic day-to-day needs, I’ve had to constantly speak with them only in Darija. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t frustrating from time to time, especially early on, but all in all I am so grateful for the amazing opportunities to learn and practice that it’s given me!
In the community:
The very first thing I think anyone would notice upon coming to Morocco is the unbelievable hospitality of Moroccans. I experienced it for the first time in Rabat, when a shop keeper in the old Medina invited a group of us to sit and drink tea with him, just to be welcoming and hospitable; my appreciation for it has only grown during my time here in Merja. In addition to my host family’s warm welcome, the rest of the community has shown a hospitality that seems to grow rather than wane with time. We’ve been invited to countless lunches (always cous cous – they know how much we love it!), kaskrots (snack times), and teas – so many that I don’t think we’ll be able to make it to all the houses we’ve been invited into by the time we leave next week! I’ve also learned that anytime you are invited into someone’s home, you’d better be ready to a) drink lots of tea, and b) eat lots of delicious food! It goes without saying that these are two concepts I have not had a hard time getting used to. J Who doesn’t love some famous Moroccan tea with some equally famous and delicious Moroccan cuisine?? When you are full, though, you need to be firm – many Moroccans, in their effort to be hospitable and help you to feel welcome, will try to keep feeding and feeding you until you insist that you are, in fact, very full!
As with any community, there is a mix of the good and the bad. Along with the wonderful hospitality of the majority of Moroccans, we’ve also experienced some street harassment, both by men and by young children. The harassment from men is somewhat similar to what I experienced from time to time in Egypt – a lot of stares, greetings in many different languages, and guys telling you that you’re beautiful in one language or another, depending on which they think you’ll respond to. It’s more annoying than anything, and I haven’t felt physically threatened or endangered by any of them. The key, I’ve found, is to simply look straight ahead and ignore them, or else offer some kind of short, snarky remark in Darija that will take them by surprise and shut them up for at least a minute or two. It also really helps to befriend the owners of the various shops that you pass on your typical routes, and make it clear that you know them – I’ve gotten to know many kind mul haunts (shop owners) here in Merja, and I’ve noticed that after people see me talking with them, the harassment decreases drastically within the vicinity of their shops. The same strategies applied in Egypt, and I was more or less prepared to handle that kind of harassment from men. What continues to catch me off guard, though, is the occasional harassment from small children in the area, particularly as night falls. When it gets late, especially in the area close to the souq (market) groups of children seem to spring from the walls and go wild! They’ll run around you, shout things, tug on your coat or backpack to get your attention, or even throw things! It’s a small minority of the kids in the community, and it’s of course never been any of the kids that we’ve worked with in the dar chebab, but it is still baffling and a bit unnerving when it happens. It all comes down to a desire for attention and a lot of boredom – there’s not a whole lot for kids to do to entertain themselves here, and most of them have likely never seen someone from another country (or another city, for that matter) walking through their town.
Still, even after feeling a bit flustered from children making trouble, I seem to find little gems everywhere. I was riding a grand taxi alone for my first time and feeling just a bit nervous, since I was squeezed in with 5 others, none of whom I knew – or so I thought. The woman sitting next to me struck up a conversation with me, and I was surprised to find that she knew who I was and which family I was living with in Merja! Word travels fast in Morocco, especially about something like this – and she had heard all about me from my host family. We talked a bit about Peace Corps and its goals, and she made sure that I knew where to get out for my stop. It might sound creepy or something, but it didn’t feel that way at all – it was nice to run into somebody who knew my family, was interested in Peace Corps’ work, and who could sort of watch out for me on my first solo ride into Fes. In addition to being struck by her kindness, I was amazed with how quickly I was able to feel like a part of the community in that way, even if it was just one taxi ride.
An experience I had recently truly illustrated for me just how much we have integrated into our community. I had traveled to the gorgeous cities of Ifrane and Azrou for the weekend with some fellow trainees who live on the other side of Fes, and was returning to Merja on my own on Sunday evening. On the short walk from the taxi stand to my house, I was flagged town by several different people – a young student from the dar chebab, a hanut (shop) owner, and a member of my extended family – all asking how I’d been, where I was returning from, and whether I enjoyed my weekend traveling. I realized then that Merja is, in many small yet significant ways, becoming a sort of home: I see people I know on my walks around town, I’m welcomed back after a weekend away by people in the community, and I’ve forged meaningful relationships with a good number of people here. Granted, there are a lot of people I’ve yet to get to know, and it’s not perfect – but if this is how I feel after less than 2 months in our training site, I can only imagine what it will be like living somewhere for 2 whole years! It can be scary getting to know a new community, but my experience here in Merja has shown me how exciting, welcoming, and fun it can also be – and I can’t wait to integrate into my final site.
In many ways, it’s sad to think about leaving Merja – we’ve come to know the various hanut owners, families, leaders in the dar chebab, and so much more, and now we are going to essentially peace out for our new cities. The reasons for it make sense: Peace Corps wants to give trainees a chance to learn Darija and get our feet wet a bit in communities with other volunteers and with the help of a language-cultural facilitator, and the best way to do that is through these group training sites. Since we’re spread out for our final sites (1-2 volunteers per city), the majority of us unfortunately have to leave our training sites and move elsewhere for our final sites. Though it will be sad to leave Merja, I’m excited to finally settle into the community in which I’ll live for 2 years and get to work – wherever that may be!
The next two weeks are going to be a whirlwind:
An experience I had recently truly illustrated for me just how much we have integrated into our community. I had traveled to the gorgeous cities of Ifrane and Azrou for the weekend with some fellow trainees who live on the other side of Fes, and was returning to Merja on my own on Sunday evening. On the short walk from the taxi stand to my house, I was flagged town by several different people – a young student from the dar chebab, a hanut (shop) owner, and a member of my extended family – all asking how I’d been, where I was returning from, and whether I enjoyed my weekend traveling. I realized then that Merja is, in many small yet significant ways, becoming a sort of home: I see people I know on my walks around town, I’m welcomed back after a weekend away by people in the community, and I’ve forged meaningful relationships with a good number of people here. Granted, there are a lot of people I’ve yet to get to know, and it’s not perfect – but if this is how I feel after less than 2 months in our training site, I can only imagine what it will be like living somewhere for 2 whole years! It can be scary getting to know a new community, but my experience here in Merja has shown me how exciting, welcoming, and fun it can also be – and I can’t wait to integrate into my final site.
In many ways, it’s sad to think about leaving Merja – we’ve come to know the various hanut owners, families, leaders in the dar chebab, and so much more, and now we are going to essentially peace out for our new cities. The reasons for it make sense: Peace Corps wants to give trainees a chance to learn Darija and get our feet wet a bit in communities with other volunteers and with the help of a language-cultural facilitator, and the best way to do that is through these group training sites. Since we’re spread out for our final sites (1-2 volunteers per city), the majority of us unfortunately have to leave our training sites and move elsewhere for our final sites. Though it will be sad to leave Merja, I’m excited to finally settle into the community in which I’ll live for 2 years and get to work – wherever that may be!
The next two weeks are going to be a whirlwind:
- Wednesday the 16th: Language proficiency interviews – the big interviews that will test our level of proficiency in Darija – eek!
- Saturday the 19th: Leave in the morning for Rabat, no doubt amid tears when saying goodbye to our host families! We will also likely find out our final sites on this day! Ahh!
- Saturday the 19th – Wednesday the 23rd: Time in Rabat with our whole staging class, debriefing from training, finding out about our final sites, preparing to depart, etc. We’ll have our Swearing In ceremony on the 23rd, making us official Peace Corps volunteers!
- Thursday the 24th – Depart for our final sites!! Whoa!
Hold onto your hats!
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