Hybrid Emotions, Under Pressure

In less than one week, it will finally be March 19th. In less than one week, my adventure begins.

I've had a lot of people ask me how I'm feeling about all of this, and I can honestly say that I can't quite put my finger on it, let alone describe it to someone else. It seems too complex for language to capture. I've just finished reading Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides, and I think the author describes this conundrum best:

"Emotions, in my experience, aren't covered by single words. I don't believe in "sadness," "joy," or "regret." Maybe the best proof that the language is patriarchal is that it oversimplifies feeling. I'd like to have at my disposal complicated hybrid emotions. . ."

I've come across a few phrases and words, all in other languages, that capture hybrid emotions in the way Eugenides, like myself, would like to see. Still, there's nothing that quite matches the cocktail of feelings running through my heart and mind during these days. Following Eugenides example, I'd like to create some collision phrases like, "The combination of exhilaration and panic as one takes a step into the unknown," or, "The strange sadness that accompanies happiness when a long wait ends," or, "The unlikely marriage of love for one's home with love for being away." And of course, "The sensation that what's next is all at once real, imaginary, close, far away."

Put another way, this moment feels very much like jumping off a diving board into a cool pool on a very hot day. I don't mean that instant when you hit the water, shocked and refreshed as you're enveloped by it; nor do I mean the time you spend on the board, wavering, then finally deciding to take the plunge. I'm talking about the space between -- that moment after your feet leave the board and there you are, suspended. You're there for a second, maybe two, and you feel several things at once. Instinctively, your body reacts with fear, uncertain about jumping off dry land into the deep water where it's sure to be cold. You think of how nice it was out in the sun, staying dry and warm, and you almost regret your decision. And yet, above all else, you're giddy with excitement about the jump, about the fact that there's no turning back and you're definitely going to get wet and swim for awhile. That suspension, that space between apprehension and excitement, that place where there's no going back but you wouldn't have it any other way -- that's where I am right now.

*          *          * 

Aside from complex emotions and abstract analogies, I am beginning to feel very overwhelmed about how much I still have to do before leaving! Organizing, packing, random administrative tasks, and errands to run -- they've been piling up and I have no idea where the time has gone! It's definitely part of my MO that I like to work under pressure, but this situation is a bit different. (hmm, imagine that!) I suppose most of my time has gone to seeing family and friends instead of packing, but let's be real: who can argue with that? :)

As evidenced by the insane hour at which I'm writing this, I've developed a strange sort of insomnia that I can only attribute to the large amount of tasks before me. I stay up late, telling myself, "I can't go to bed yet, I need to get stuff done. I should really do X, Y, and Z." Do I end up doing X, Y, or Z? No. Instead, I dwell on how much there is to do, argue with myself about how to prioritize and which to tackle first, and then find that it's grown too late to actually make any progress. Shake my head, repeat.

Thankfully, all of the things I ordered online came in time, and I have almost everything I need outside of what a run to Target can fix. In keeping with helpful Peace Corps blogging tradition, I'll post a detailed packing list soon for future volunteers looking for insight. For now, though, all I have to say is that my insanely organized spreadsheet of a packing list has now exploded into actual objects that have taken over the den in our house! This is going to require some seriously awesome packing strategies, a friend or two to bounce ideas off of, and maybe definitely some chocolate to ease the nerves.

I had two very awesome going away parties that I have yet to write about - one in Grand Rapids, and one here on the East Side. Both were wonderful and filled with more friends and loved ones than I had anticipated -- If I find some time, Ill post some stories and pictures from those in the coming days.


6 days!

One Month.

29 days.

4 weeks.

One motto.

Itineraries and reality

This morning, they arrived! The information about staging finally found its way into my inbox -- and with 2 emails, 3 attachments, and one phone call to the travel agency, things just got real. 

Things I now know:

- I will be leaving out of the Detroit metro airport at 7:00 AM on Monday, March 19th, and arriving in Philadelphia at 9:00 AM.

- I will be staying in Philadelphia for one night while we complete staging (very close to the Liberty Bell, I might add)

- I will be boarding a bus to the New York JFK international airport at  10:00 AM on Tuesday, March 20th.

- At 6:45 PM, it's wheels up - I will be on a nonstop flight to Casablanca, Morocco, beginning the adventure of a lifetime.

You might be asking yourself, "What the heck is this 'staging' business she keeps referencing? Why do they stop in Philadelphia for a day?"

Staging is a very brief, intense orientation that we take part in before leaving the country for Morocco. We'll receive our ticket for traveling from JFK to Casablanca, get to know one-another, and get some basic information needed before our full, three-month long Pre-Service Training (PST) in Morocco.

It's comforting to know that we will be taking this first step of our journey in the form of a mini-trip to a US city, meeting our fellow volunteers and making sure we've got all of the bureaucratic necessities taken care of. (Also, a note to future volunteers: don't worry, Peace Corps books and pays for your flight to staging and your accommodations while there! You are taken care of!)

The entire pre-service orientation and training process is extensive, which is both awesome and surprising to some people -- So many people (including myself, two years ago) have this idea in their heads that Peace Corps entails being dropped out of a plane into the middle of nowhere with only so much as a handbook and a "good luck," and that couldn't be farther from the truth! I'll talk more about this in a later post, but we'll have 3 months of intensive training and 2 different host families to introduce us to the culture before they let us loose!

The emails also contained a bunch of other specifics, including some instructions about training modules/classes that we need to complete online before arriving for staging - and I'd be lying if I said the student in me didn't get a little excited about that!

This is actually happening. There is actually a ticket purchased by the Peace Corps for my departure. This is not a hypothetical. This is happening. . . ! Excitement would be an understatement.

Hold on to your hats!

In Others' Words

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
- Mark Twain

"So much better to travel than to arrive."

- Margaret Atwood

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness,
and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts."

- Mark Twain

“Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.”

 - Maya Angelou

"Leave your doubt at the door,
Or don't you take another step."

- The Crane Wives

Two Months and Counting...

Today is January 19th.

In exactly two months, the date will be March 19th, and I'll be embarking on the journey of a lifetime.

In exactly two months, it's very likely that I'll also be an complete basket case of emotions.
As Kurt Vonnegut might say: Hold on to your hats!

In not-so-exactly one month, I'll be packing up my things and saying 'see you later' to Grand Rapids for now. The basket case might be making an early appearance at this point.

In approximately two minutes (or four, or ten, or anytime at all), I could be feeling any and all of the following:
- Excitement: How amazing is it that I got assigned to MOROCCO?! I had the time of my life studying in Egypt, and I can feel the travel bug buzzing in my ear, louder and brighter each day.
- Nervousness: It's not the service that scares me, or even the culture shock of a foreign country - it's the leaving. It's that moment in the airport, when the hugs end and I'm supposed to walk away.
- Contemplation: There's a lot of self-reflection needed at times like these. I wonder about my intentions, goals, fears, and expectations. I think about the people I'm going to miss and I obsess a little about seeing all of them a lot before I go. I think about life as a journey and as a whole.
- Anticipation: I submitted my application almost a year and a half ago. Waiting this long to finally be leaving has been a whole other set of emotions in and of itself. It's finally going to come to fruition, and there's something simultaneously beautiful and unbelievable about that.
- Being Present: Amid all the other thoughts, I'm trying my best to remain present while I'm here. I'm seeing as much of the people I love as possible, indulging in favorite foods while they're available, and having a ton of fun every day. I have plenty of time to be Moroccan while I'm in Morocco. For now, bring on the pizza, cookies, mac and cheese and good beer.

11:59...12:00. Meet 2012

2012 is here.

Aside from the reflections, resolutions, and well-wishes, the start of 2012 brings something else blazing into the forefront of my mind: It's here. Peace Corps is actually THIS year, instead of some faraway place called next year.

In 2011, no matter how much time passed, Morocco still felt impossibly far away:

"When are you leaving?
"March 19th, 2012"
"Oh you've got a ton of time!"
"I know! Long wait!"

For whatever reason, when someone describes a date that is any year other than the current one, it seems far-off, almost imaginary. Perhaps that's part of the reason we make such a big deal out of that metaphysically insignificant change from 11:59 to 12:00, the reason we buy food and drink and fireworks and hats and sparkles and gather all of our friends together: It makes the next year tangible.

And tangible, it is. Ever since I've returned from my fabulous New Year's vacation, I can't quite seem to focus on anything the same way. I'm delighted to be back in Grand Rapids, the city I've come to call home, but I can sense the bittersweet taste building in the air. I've got about 6 weeks left here. I've already said goodbye to this city once, and I hate the thought of doing it again (When I left for the summer, I thought I was leaving for Peace Corps shortly thereafter). So, I've decided that I'm not going to say goodbye. Like so many departures, this won't be goodbye; it'll be "See you later!" I don't know when or for what duration, but you can bet that I'll be back in this city again, many times.

Still, I can't shake this strange feeling. Its not exactly excitement, but its not nervousness either. Its like seeing someone famous in person, or seeing a project come to fruition for the first time: The idea finally begins to transform into reality, and you're not really sure how to react. You're happy, mostly, but the strange novelty of something that's not actually new throws you. And its never what you expected.

I'm trying to enjoy every last minute of my time here in GR without letting it make me neurotic. By neurotic, I mean that sometimes, when I feel the urge to spend some time alone or stay in for the night (I know its rare for me, but it does happen sometimes!), I'm overcome with this OMG-WHAT-AM-I-DOING-I'M-LEAVING-SOON-NEED-TO-SEE-PEOPLE-AND-PLACES kind of feeling. Or, if I have to turn down a lunch or dinner invitation from a friend, I get this OMG-BUT-I'M-LEAVING-SOON-I-NEED-TO-BALANCE-EVERYTHING sort of feeling. Its mostly harmless, but sometimes it drives me crazy, for obvious reasons. Nobody can be everywhere, see everyone, and make everything rosy always. I know this, but leaving the country does strange things to your thinking.

So, if you find that I'm acting a little bit crazy over the next few months, please bear with me. It's only because I care so much about all of you.

Put it on Paper...Again

After hours of brainstorming, writing, and a bit of obsessive editing, I've FINALLY sent the Morocco Peace Corps staff my Peace Corps Resume and Aspiration Statement. These documents are our formal introduction to the Morocco country staff, and the only real introduction they'll get before we arrive. It will be used in part to focus our training and to identify the areas in which we are strong, weak, interested, etc.

You might be thinking, "Wait...didn't you already fill out an enormous application, submit your resume, write two essays, fill out countless forms about your experience, and go through multiple interviews to get to this point? Doesn't the Peace Corps already have a ton of information about you?"

The answer to these questions is yes, and believe me when I say I was initially just as confused by the additional request for information as you might be. With a little more reading and a lot more context, however, it started to make sense. The staff at the US Peace Corps offices (recruiters, placement officers, etc) does have all of this information about incoming volunteers, but the Morocco country staff has no idea who we are at this point. The US staff needs to send the Morocco staff some comprehensive information about who we are, what we know, what we'd like to do, and all the rest before arrive in March for a 27-month commitment. They could just send them the information they already have, but for one thing, it's pretty out of date. Most of us wrote those application essays and resumes over a year and a half ago, and a lot can (and did) happen between then and now. Plus, we all likely took different spins on the broad essay prompts and included different things in our resumes, making the would-be information packets pretty inconsistent and less useful than they could be.

Thus, here I am after submitting a totally reformatted resume and newly-written Aspiration Statement. The resume wasn't a big thing; just streamlining the format and adding some additional information that they wanted to be included. Though, I must say, it was interesting and awesome seeing how many courses I was able to list under the section containing training and relevant coursework. Thank you, Women & Gender Studies and Political Science! :) With all of the added material, my resume ended up being pretty long - like 4 pages long. In an ordinary situation this would be super problematic, but I figure that its a little bit different here: This is one of only TWO pieces of information the entire Morocco staff will receive about us before we begin working with them for over two YEARS. Probably best to err on the side of thorough, especially since its being used to analyze our strengths, areas of focus, and everything else.

Then there's the Aspiration Statement: quite possibly one of the more difficult and self-reflective documents you'll have to write in a long while. There are five sections that they ask you to include:

A. The professional attributes that I plan to use, and what aspirations I hope to fulfill, during my

Peace Corps service.

B. My strategies for working effectively with host country partners to meet expressed needs.

C. My strategies for adapting to a new culture with respect to my own cultural background.

D. The skills and knowledge I hope to gain during pre-service training to best serve my future

community and project.

E. How I think Peace Corps service will influence my personal and professional aspirations after my service ends.
In a nutshell, they're asking us to sum up all of our rationale, thoughts, hopes, goals, strategies, etc. about the Peace Corps in one document. Not to mention our life goals for AFTER service. Its a pretty daunting idea, really. There is so much to say that it almost begs the question, "Where do I start??" It was nice to be able to divide it up into headings, though; that definitely made it seem more manageable.

After literally months of brainstorming, I finally set out to start and finish the thing last week. (Normally, the Peace Corps wants them within 10 days of accepting your assignment, but there was a little more leeway in our group's case, since there's so much time between invitation and departure.) So there I was again, trying to take a million complex thoughts and actually put them on paper. Even though I'm very confident about my skills as a writer, a part of me always wishes I could just talk with someone rather than going through the process of typing it out in a nice format. Deep down though, I honestly see the benefit of actually thinking it out, organizing it, and putting it on paper. When you write, you're forced to write something more than simply every single thing that pops into your head at random. You have to analyze what you're writing, why you're including it, and what it means. You have to dig deeper, think about what's truly important, and how it all fits together.

We don't begin to write after we understand; we understand after we begin to write.

This may seem a little abstract, but my point is that even after the stress and worry about writing a thorough Aspiration Statement, I'm so glad for the opportunity to have written it. It was moderate in length, about 4 pages (how could you not write several pages with those kind of prompts??) For the section about adapting to a new culture, I wrote a lot about the feminist principle of reflexivity, as discussed in numerous WGS classes along the way at Grand Valley. It was wonderful to re-examine the concept and apply it to what I'll be doing in Morocco. I feel as though I have a clearer vision for what I hope to accomplish, and a better grasp on the strategies I can use to go about it. Of course there will be bumps, twists, and crazy turns in the road, but going in with a basic idea is far better than nothing at all.

Mind the gap.

A very wise student at an awards ceremony at GV last year gave a speech entitled, “Mind the Gap.” She told us how, in London I believe, the subway trains warn passengers as they come and go to, quite literally, “mind the gap!” between the platform and the train. Using this as a framework, she aptly described what nearly all of us soon-to-be-graduates in the room were feeling, but had up until that point been too embarrassed or proud to really articulate: that vast, empty, expansive and seemingly unconquerable canyon of a gap that lay before us after graduation. That enormous question mark that loomed before us, taunting, “What now? You have plans for the far-ahead future, but what about RIGHT now? What on earth will be your very first next step?” All of us felt it, and yet most of us were completely unsure about how to take it. Sure, it was only one step – but that one step would take us from our sturdy, familiar platform onto a fast-moving train to SOMEWHERE far away, somewhere new and different and altogether uncertain - and our feet felt frozen to the spot.

And somehow, 5 months after graduation, it seems that we have all found some way to begin that first step, and to “mind the gap” along the way. A few are past that gap, onto great first jobs in promising career paths or researching in grad school; but most are still caught somewhere in between, working a job to pay the bills, saving up for traveling while we’re still young, or searching desperately for that dream job. And that’s okay, just as that wise GV graduate said to us that afternoon – as long as we remember that it is only a gap – and to not be afraid to step on that train when it arrives.

I reflect on this speech as I’m considering my own gap, my own time spent waiting on the platform. I’d thought that it would only last a few months, that I’d be embarking on my Peace Corps journey in the late summer or early fall of this year. That turned out not to be the case, and (albeit after a few weeks of moping) I’ve come to accept and even cherish it. After all, it means one more Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and birthday at home – and so much more time to prepare. And although I am SO PUMPED about my placement in Morocco for more reasons than I can count, I have to admit that I’ve struggled with this timeline change quite a bit, and am still dealing with it to some degree. What I realized, though, is that the only way to get away from that anxiety was to transform the gap from an empty space into a rich opportunity – and that’s exactly what I’ve set about doing:

I decided I needed to fill my time before leaving with interesting and relevant things, things that would be fulfilling and also useful when I leave – and also that I needed to have a little fun along the way. So, here’s what I’m up to before I go:

-- I’ve moved back to Grand Rapids, since I’m so much more well-connected here to activism, events, cool internships, and other opportunities. Plus, I love this city, plain and simple. I’m going to be spending a lot of time at home though still, visiting on long weekends and staying for extended periods over holidays. I’ll also be moving back home about a month and a half before my actual departure, to leave plenty of time for family and preparations.

-- First, the awesome internship: I’m working part time with WGVU Public Media as a Grants Intern, working mostly on this awesome project called Women and Girls Lead - Check it out! -- Note: The offices are in one of the buildings of the downtown GV campus, so when you see me around, that’s why. I did graduate and get a cool job, I promise!

-- Next, the still awesome but more for financial stability job: I’m teaching LSAT (the law school entrance exam) prep classes for Kaplan test prep. It’s pretty fun, since it’s just a few nights a week and the dork in me finds logical reasoning pretty enjoyable!

-- I’ve got a lot more free time than I’m used to, so I’m doing some volunteer work and other activist-type things. I’m volunteering in the kids’ after school program at the West Michigan Refugee Education and Cultural Center, working with We Are the People, among other things here and there. Oh, and I’m hoping to take another ceramics class while I’m at it!

-- And finally, I’m obsessing about, reading about, and otherwise preparing for Morocco! French lessons, Darija (Moroccan Arabic) lessons, books, guides, ETC! My favorite new thing is this totally kickass facebook group we have going of the volunteers in our staging class (all of us leaving in March for Morocco). Awesome.


In sum, that’s how I’m minding my own gap between now and the start of my Peace Corps service. It sounds like a lot, but surprisingly (or perhaps not so surprisingly if you know how my past schedules were), I do have a lot more free time now than I’ve had in years past. I’m looking forward to this little ‘break’ of sorts, and I know it will fly by much faster than expected. But life is lived in the present, so here I am.

INVITATION!

My invitation has finally arrived!! It came in the mail yesterday afternoon while I was at work, and after an excruciating 10 hours of anticipation, I finally received the news!!

Drumroll please...

Country: Morocco
Job Title: Youth Development Volunteer
Departure Date: March 19, 2012

Updates Updates and More!

Alright, so I realize I've gone a little bit radio silent over the last few months - with the last month at Gv, finals, moving home, the trip to France with my mom, and the summer job, I just hadn't found the time! Plus, with everything being less than certain, I've been putting off updating during the wait. So, here's the super lengthy, long overdue, but feels-good-to-write update that I've finally taken the time to sit down and bang out.


Here's what's happened:


Mid-April - After sending my statement about my prosthesis to the medical office, I received a letter stating that I was cleared for service with medical restrictions - namely, my limb deficiency would restrict my placement to a site with easy access to medical resources and accommodations  for my medical condition. Accommodations! Flabbergasted, I called my contact at the medical office to demand an answer. I explained to the nurse, as I had in my statement, that I did not need any accommodations or assistance with my arm or anything else. I asked her what the letter meant for my placement if the decision stood, and she told me that I would need to be placed somewhere where I could get immediate attention and assistance should anything happen to my prosthesis. Curious, I asked if I was placed into the same category as somebody missing a lower limb, and she said yes. Beside myself but trying to be respectful, I told her that the decision made no sense and that I did not need the same type of assistance as someone missing a lower limb. I told her that I had lived my whole life without limitations, and that I would need to appeal the decision with someone higher up - it didn't stand with my experiences, it didn't stand with my doctor's recommendation, and it didn't stand with my conscience. She told me that she would talk with the medical advisor (or someone to that effect), and call me back within a few days.


A few days later - The nurse I had been talking to called me back, and let me know that the original decision was overturned and I was cleared for service worldwide. She explained that she agreed with me when we spoke on the phone a few days prior, and told the medical advisor all that I had told her. She said, "We are here for you, you know...we're just trying to make sure that all of you get the best placement possible, and I'm glad we could get this straightened out for you. It was really a nice conversation. I got another letter in the mail reflecting the new decision a few days later.


May 3 - Received an email from a placement officer requesting: an updated resume, descriptions of any new experiences since my last resume was sent (back in October), and my final transcript with graduation date. The end of the email said this:
"What happens next is that once your updates are received by me, your Placement Specialist will review your file to determine how we may be able to match you to the next available program that best fits your skills and qualifications, and Peace Corps' needs. During this time, flexibility in geographic preference and departure date will be beneficial. Given our current needs, any new program we may identify for you would be departing between the months of July-September, 2011 at the earliest."

I sent her my updated resume and experiences via email that same day. I had also figured that my new timeline was July-September, so I wasn't surprised in the least.

May 16 - Received final transcript from Gv and faxed it to placement office after returning from my trip to France with my mom.

June 21 - Received a phone call on my way to work from a placement specialist! She said she needed about half an hour to do a phone interview with a few follow-up questions, and we set up a time for midday the following day. I was ecstatic - based on the other peace corps blogs I'd been reading (stalking) online, it seemed like the follow-up interview usually meant that they had a placement in mind. 

June 22 - Had a great phone interview with the placement specialist. It went very well, and I was super excited about the prospect of getting a placement. At the end of the interview, however, she delivered what felt like a huge blow: she said that due to budget cuts, the potential government shutdown earlier in the year, and the resulting backlog of applicants, they were telling people that they would likely not be departing until January-March. I was shocked, but put on a good face (or the equivalent of it in a phone conversation) until we finished our conversation. I have to admit that I was really upset - all I could think about was the fact that I had moved home, away from the city I had grown to love and actually call home, to live with family and spend time with them before leaving, only to find out that I would be waiting another 7-9 months before leaving! The summer job I have is nice for the money, but the thought of hanging around there was awful. Had I known I'd be waiting that long, I would have stayed in Grand Rapids at least for the summer and fall, working with one of the many non-profits / activist groups I was connected with in the area. I was missing Gv friends so much, and the thoughts just wouldn't stop running through my head. I was a bit of a wreck for a few days. I now realize that I overreacted - Peace Corps (and world travel in general, for that matter) requires flexibility and patience, and my first test of those skills went less than well, to say the least. 

Late June - Mid-July - I contemplated a lot of things over the next few weeks, trying to figure out what my next steps should be. I thought about whether I should stick it out and wait for a placement, or move on with grad school applications or a job hunt in DC. While I hated the thought of waiting, I hated the thought of never doing Peace Corps even more - I knew that I would regret it my whole life if I didn't go. I talked with close friends and mentors, and each and every one made the same points: this is a gift; take the time to do things you love; stay with the Peace Corps; this is out of your control, so stop fretting about it. Live life. In short, calm the F down and love what you have. After a weekend spend in GR with amazing friends over the 4th of July, I finally began to come around to their wise words. I started to make plans to move back to GR, work some part time jobs, read for pleasure, and spend time with friends in the city that I love. I calmed down, and felt better about things. I really do owe it to those friends and mentors who supported me through my perhaps unnecessary, but still totally real, moment of freak-out.

July 15- Just as I'm becoming more comfortable about the idea of waiting, I wake up to a huge surprise. Rolling over in my bed to check my phone, I groggily open my email - and see a new message from the Peace Corps: My status has been updated in my toolkit online! My eyelids snap open, and I rush to open my account online. Still on my phone because its so much quicker than my computer these days, I see in large letters on the header of my account: Congratulations, you've been invited to serve as a Peace Corps Volunteer! I can't believe it - wasn't I supposed to be waiting until January? Did this mean I did have a placement after all? Trying not to get too excited, I get ready for work and called my placement specialist on my way to work. After we said hello, she says, "I guess you're calling because you saw the update on your account!" I say yes, and she replies, "Yeah, well I guess we are looking at a bit of an earlier timeline than we thought - unfortunately I can't tell you any of the details now over the phone, but your invitation is in the mail and should be to you within 10 days!" I'm ecstatic - I might be leaving in the early fall after all! I decide not to tell too many people, besides my mom, of course - I figure I've been giving people enough of a roller-coaster of updates, and just in case something goes awry, I'll wait until I actually get my packet to share the news.

Needless to say, I've been all over the Peace Corps Wiki Timeline page looking up potential countries in the next few months. There's too may possibilities to narrow it down, but its cool to be able to see a list of possibilities! If I've done my math right, I THINK the earliest I could leave is August 26th (6 weeks out). That is so soon! Ahh! I'm thinking its likely going to be sometime in October, but really it could be anywhere in the next few months. Who knows?! I suppose I will within the next 8 days or so! =D

"Additional Information"

I got two calls from the Peace Corps medical office this past Thursday the 14th.


First, the nurse at the medical office asked me about my prosthesis. I wasn't surprised, since they didn't ask for any additional forms or information about it aside from a few short questions in my medical packet. On the initial online medical survey, there is a box for "uses assistive device (e.g. prosthesis, etc)." So, I checked it. In my medical review packet, the only questions about it for my doctor asked things like, "What assistance does the volunteer need?" "What additional accommodations would this volunteer need?" etc. Since none of that applies to me, my doctor simply wrote "N/A." The nurse said this was contradictory, since I wrote that I use an assistive device, but my doctor wrote that I didn't need assistance. I told her that using an assistive device does NOT necessitate needing additional assistance - those are two distinct things. She still said she was going to have to send it back to my doctor for more information, and I was not at all pleased.


A few hours later, though, the nurse called me again. She said that she had gotten the information straightened out, and would not need additional information from my doctor after all. (Thank goodness! That probably would have taken forever!) All I have to do is write a personal statement about my prosthesis - how long I've had it, how I use it, and describing the fact that I don't have any limitations. After they receive that, she said I'll be medically cleared! Yes! The only strange thing was that she said they needed the personal statement to help the placement officer make sure "that I get the most meaningful placement possible." I'm not really sure what that means...my guess at this point is that they just want to make sure I really don't have any limitations, before they place me somewhere with more limited access - and "meaningful" is code for "safe" in this context.


Hopefully next time I write I'll be medically cleared!

Chronicling the Process

Hello!

 My original intention was to hold off on creating a blog until I received a placement, but some friends have successfully convinced me that it might be interesting to write about my experiences with the placement process and all of the excitement/emotion/frustration/joy/anticipation that comes with it.

 I've created a page with my complete timeline, and will continue to update that as I find out more. There's also an "About the Peace Corps" page, but as I am a college student in her last term of school (..eek!), there's not much time to complete that at the time being. Feel free to leave comments, questions, or suggestions for things you'd like to see me discuss. I've also never had a blog before (unless you count LiveJournal back in high school..), so I'd love some suggestions for formatting, things to include / not to include, etc. Oh, and a special thanks to the lovely Meghan McAffee, who helped me come up with the name. :)

 An interesting update: Up until this point, I've been under the impression that I was scheduled to leave in late summer / early fall, probably in the month of September. Today, my curiosity got the best of me and I called my recuiter to confirm that (since my nomination did change a few times) and to try and get more answers. To the surprise of both of us, my program code indicates that I'm tentitively assigned to be an HIV/AIDS health volunteer (still within community development), leaving in early summer (May-June). Nomenee (my recruiter) thought that this didn't seem right, given my timeframe and experience, and promised to get in contact with my placement officer in DC for more answers. I'll be calling him back on Friday to see how that discussion went.

 When I applied, I was totally prepared and ready to leave after graduation. I put on my availability that I could leave beginning May 30th, and that sounded entirely fine to me. Now that I've been operating under the assumption that I was leaving in September, the early summer timeframe seems impossibly early...I honestly can't imagine leaving so soon. I suppose I'll need to begin adjusting to that idea, but I can't help but hope that it ends up being closer to September.

UPDATE:
I spoke with Nomenee today, and he said its not likely that either of us will hear anything from the placement staff in DC until May 1st. First, I haven't even gotten medical clearance yet, and that could take a few months. Second, there are a lot of applicants ahead of me who haven't even gotten placements yet, so the timeline is really up in the air. It sounds like many people are leaving after their original timeline, so it seems (or at least I'm hoping) that all of this means I'll be leaving closer to the late summer / early fall after all!